02.09.09 NOOOOOOOO!!! MASTURBATING BEAR RETIRED

I knew this day was coming, but it’s still depressing as hell to realize the truth: Conan O’Brien has retired the popular “masturbating bear” character.  In last week’s mock “State of the Show” speech (video below), O’Brien deemed the masturbating bear as inappropriate for the 11:30 time slot he’ll mercifully assume from Jay Leno in two weeks, and prepared viewers for a new bear character that instead “searches through a fanny pack for lost keys.”

I guess this is the price we pay.  The cost of doing business.  Friends, I don’t like a watered-down, less zany Conan any more than the next Calvin Klein underwear model, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay in order to not have Leno doing “The Tonight Show.”  Another price I’m willing to pay: $10 for three pairs of underwear.  That’s a whole week’s worth!