03.26.09 ANNA KOURNIKOVA PLAYS BEER PONG W/ FALLON

It’s a modern American tragedy that no one will think of this poor girl as anything other than an athlete. I mean, no one cares that the Williams sisters are trying to design clothes or that Tiger Woods is impregnating Europeans…

Wait one fucking minute, Ufford….are you even TRYING to insinuate that this woman, who was an utter failure at pro tennis, would be invited to appear on a formerly-prominent talk show because men find her attractive?

This needs further research. OFF TO GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH, WITH THE PARENTAL FILTERS TURNED OFF!!!

This chick plays tennis???

Utter failure…perhaps. But “udder” failure? I think not.

“I’d like to ace her deuce, if you catch my meaning.”
“Yeah. I’d like to fuck her on a tennis court, if you get my drift.”

It would have been better if she played strip poker while Fallon was off camera huffing glue or whatever he does that gives him that stupid grin on his face all the time.

She got to No. 8 in the whole fucking world. Yeah, what a failure. In doubles, she made it to No. 1, and won 16 titles, no doubt just because she was prettier.

@Right: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, but it didn’t fit into the context of my joke.

I can’t wait for the first d-bag to come on here and say it’s called Beirut or however they spell it.

It IS Beirut!! Real beer pong’s played with paddles!

I would like to point out, unfunnily, that while everyone considers her to have “spectacularly failed at Tennis”, she was ranked the #1 female doubles player for awhile. If only we could all be so spectacularly unsuccesful?

(Only reason I know this is because she’s hot.)

Jimmy Falon looks like a 12 year old dressed for church. Great, he’s standing next to a 6 foot blonde and I noticed him.