03.13.09 THEY SHOULD’VE CALLED IT ‘DISABILITY ISLAND’

The UK’s Channel 4 has begun casting actors with a variety of disabilities in a new show called “Cast Offs.”  Unfortunately, it will be a scripted show, not a reality competition in which the midget has to fight a monkey for a banana.  (Note to FOX: that’s MY idea, and I expect royalties when you make it.)

The new series is called Cast Offs and follows six characters – each played by an actor with a different disability – who are left to fend for themselves for a year on a remote island… Channel 4 has said that it will be filmed in a mock-documentary style and will follow the characters as they “build their own homes, grow their own food, fall in love and fight to survive”…

Alison Walsh, editorial manager for disability at Channel 4, said… “We wanted innovation in form as well as content – to really test the outer limits of disability on TV.”

So it’s like “Lost,” but with amputees and the laws of physics intact.  Cool.

I have an idea for an American show called “Cast Offs.”  You take all the people who’ve been cast off “American Idol,” and put them on an uninhabited island in the south Pacific teeming with malaria and yellow fever.  Actually, it’s not so much a “show” as it is “the first step in my population control/eugenics program.”  But let’s worry about the details after they’ve died, okay?