Dear Americans Who Watched Every Iteration of Bravo’s First Three Series of “Real Housewives” That Paved the Way for Bravo to Make “The Real Housewives of New Jersey“: I hate you. Please remove your genitals and microwave them on high for 10 minutes.
The newest cast of Housewives is close-knit and includes friends, a pair of sisters — who married brothers! — and their sister-in-law. The show is set to premiere May 12 (11 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
I’d also like to include some random sentences from the descriptions of the newest Housewives:
A former cosmetologist, she is now a stay-at-home mom, but still loves to pamper herself… her husband Joe owns a successful construction company… she also loves to shop, get spa treatments and spend time at her beach house on the Jersey Shore… “You either love me or you hate me, there is no in between,” says the single mom [again: NOT a housewife -Ed.] of two daughters. She prides herself as one of the first female American Express Black card members in New Jersey.
Stay tuned for “The Real Housewives of Cape Girardeau, Missouri.” A mother of six, Barb enjoys going to church, funnel cakes, vacationing in the Ozarks, and weekend trips to Branson. Stereotypes make for great TV!
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There is nothing “real” about any of these morons! A “real” housewife doesn’t have nannies and maids and millions of dollars at their disposal. These shows are an insult to real housewives everywhere.
Looks like someone spent a fair piece of time close to the Cape, also known as the STD capital of Missouri, which is in turn the STD capital of the U.S. You forget to mention “visits to her in-laws in the Boot Heel” in your description, though.
I personally like Missouri wimmin, cuz all you need to get lucky is an RC Cola and a wrapped Moon Pie…yer own double-wide (trailer) a plus!
Their is nothing more annoying than rich blue collar people. You get all the arrogance of a rich person combined with blue collar anger and style.
“Yea, I would like 2 of dose lion statues and a barbed wire tattoo please.”
We’d all like fer you folks to com on down to Cape this weekend for the music of Christian Stallions down at Capaha Park. They’ll be playing all der hits such as, “Jesus ain’t no Jew,” “Keep it dark on South Sprigg,” and the all time faveright “God hates fags!” It should be a helluva a toot party and remember, Just head on down to Capaha Park right across the street from the hospital and next to the burning crosses. Git ‘er done this weekend!
As the old saying goes, “If it’s from Bayonne, leave it alone!”
@eliza: Give it some time. I doubt you’ll see any more politics moving forward.
The wallflowers hate Punter apparently.
I fucking hate Jersey. Ive had to take so much pennicilan because of those skany hoes. I think I fucked one of the housewives. Now they are giving STDs to my TV? Fuck. There is no God.
Yeah yeah, this sucks. More importantly, can you PLEASE do something about Punte @ withleather. He’s ruining things. I go to that site for sports, hot chicks, and boner jokes, NOT politics. PLEASE, I may have to find a new blog.
as a New Jerseyite, I can fully say:
what the fuck?
Does David Chase have a producer credit on this?
A construction company? I never would have guessed.