When people find out I’m a TV blogger, they’ll often ask, “Isn’t ‘Access Hollywood’ the best show on television?” And I say yes. Yes it is.
Okay, maybe none of that is true, but still, the “Ax-wood” producer who greenlit the story about Jessica Biel learning the art of strip tease definitely deserves a promotion. Yes, stripping IS an art, and I’m not just saying that to agree with Jessica Biel. Although since she and I have so much in common, we should probably just go ahead and do it. Relieve that tension between us.
[Videogum]

Now I have chappedshaft. Thanks Matt. Asshole.
no one who looks like that needs to strip…you just find a dude to buy everything for you
So, an entire movie about the subplot from THE WRESTLER?
Oh yeah, I’ll be NetFlixing this a year from now…
You know what else is so much harder than you ever imagined, Jessica?
(My penis.)
I just jizzed on my keyboard. Thanks Matt.
If I knew this was going to be posted, I wouldn’t have spent my time beating off to Southland.
I want to go to there.