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Warming Glow
Warming Glow is a blog dedicated to the best and worst of television programming. Mostly the worst.


04.17.09 MODERN SAMURAI CAN CUT ANYTHING

samurai

This video has been around for a couple weeks, but it’s new to me and it involves Japan, so you know what that means: an 80% chance of tentacle rape jokes.

The video below is “Modern Samurai” Isao Machii, who has apparently become a TV sensation in his native country for his ability to cut seemingly anything, no matter how fast or small.  The banner image has him slicing an egg in two, but that’s nothing compared to what happens further along in the video: he cuts a subsonic 6-millimeter plastic bullet in two after it’s fired from a gun (fast forward to the 5:30 mark or so for that).

I’m sure some people will call “fake” on this, but I’m a believer.  Watch his face when he thinks he maybe didn’t cut the tiny bean lengthwise.  He looks ready to commit seppuku.  Or tentacle rape.  (That doesn’t really make sense, but I had to get it in.)

(thanks to Jedi Goali and Punte, who says of the video, “Put on some old pants, because it will blow your mind straight out of your asshole.”)

12 Comments » TAGS: JAPAN, SAMURAIS
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There are 12 comments about:
MODERN SAMURAI CAN CUT ANYTHING

April 17th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
BuddyRepperton says:

Maybe he can cut anything. But can he cut through my forbidden love’s icy heart?

April 17th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Tim Was Tim says:

(That doesn’t really make sense, but I had to get it in.)

That’s what the octopus said.

April 17th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Andrew says:

Guy just seems like a douche, he cut’s objects for a living…

April 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Mac says:

So, he’s like the Ichiro(!)’s of samurais?

April 17th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
The Sports Machine says:

Needs more screaming Japanese girls in bikinis and grown men dressed in diapers.

April 17th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
eliza Do-little says:

How bored am I at this job that I just sat through ten minutes of “intense-looking asian guy cuts small things with swords”?

April 17th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Taco_JOnes says:

Tentacle rape always makes sense.

April 17th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Taco_JOnes says:

Eliza, consider yourself lucky. I’m that bored at work, but they’ve blocked the video here.

April 17th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Needs More Cheerleaders says:

Those Japanese bitches looked about ready to cream themselves when he walked into that studio.

I fail to see how cutting a soft metal tube is impressive, however. (the previous three were awesome)

April 17th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
H.C. Frick says:

The Japanese have discovered that high speed cameras are totally awesome. This is either great news or a sign that the world will soon end.

April 17th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
hashobbit says:

He’s probably a practitioner of iaido. There are no samurai anymore. They were outlawed in the 19th century during the Meiji restoration when the shogunate was abolished.

April 17th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
fleshgun says:

everybody’s comments were 10/10 until hashobbit just ruined the whole webpage

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