samurai

This video has been around for a couple weeks, but it’s new to me and it involves Japan, so you know what that means: an 80% chance of tentacle rape jokes.

The video below is “Modern Samurai” Isao Machii, who has apparently become a TV sensation in his native country for his ability to cut seemingly anything, no matter how fast or small.  The banner image has him slicing an egg in two, but that’s nothing compared to what happens further along in the video: he cuts a subsonic 6-millimeter plastic bullet in two after it’s fired from a gun (fast forward to the 5:30 mark or so for that).

I’m sure some people will call “fake” on this, but I’m a believer.  Watch his face when he thinks he maybe didn’t cut the tiny bean lengthwise.  He looks ready to commit seppuku.  Or tentacle rape.  (That doesn’t really make sense, but I had to get it in.)

(thanks to Jedi Goali and Punte, who says of the video, “Put on some old pants, because it will blow your mind straight out of your asshole.”)