04.17.09 RYAN SEACREST MAYBE NOT GAY AFTER ALL

When Ryan Seacrest was rumored to be dating Teri Hatcher, it cemented my notion that the well-dressed hosting elf was most certainly gay.  She’s old and haggy and the kind of star one would only “date” just to get some additional publicity.  However, when he goes around with anonymous hot ass, well… maybe he’s gettin’ a little somethin’ out of it, y’know? **makes fellatio motion**

ANYWAY, Seacrest is now dating upscale bartender/low-rent actress Jasmine Waltz.  You may remember her from such cinema classics as TV: The Movie and Cheerleader Massacre 2.  People says:

Seacrest, 34, met Waltz during a night out at Guy’s, a West Hollywood lounge, a source tells PEOPLE.  “They’ve been together for a few months now,” says the source.

After wrapping his American Idolduties last week, Seacrest whisked Waltz off to Paris for a weekend where the couple displayed a lot of PDA.

Ryan must have wooed her with some pretty sweet fancy talk over there.  “I love Paris in the spring — there are so many great sales.  Let’s go SHOPPING!!!”  And then they got nasty with his black AmEx.  Because I still kinda think of him as gay.  Sorry, Ryan.