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04.01.09 THAT MIGHT NOT BE LEGAL

On Monday night’s “Dancing with the Stars,” Shawn Johnson and her partner Mark Ballas did the Lindy Hop, and Deadspin suggested that maybe Ballas had gotten an erection during the dance. As evidence, the site provided a photo someone had snapped of their non-HD TV screen. That right there is some hard-hittin’ wild speculation, Internet-style.

So what do I do? I download the special player from ABC.com so I can watch the episode in HD, and I spend several minutes watching ballroom dancing and staring at the crotch of a man wearing short-shorts. One of the real perks of the job.

Anyway, no need to call “To Catch a Predator,” as my repeated viewings and close inspection lead me to conclude that Ballas didn’t have a boner. Believe me, I know boners. Er, I mean, if his is anything like mine, it pops out above the waistline. Call me ladies!

17 Comments » TAGS: ABC, DANCING WITH THE STARS, SHAWN JOHNSON

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There are 17 comments about:
THAT MIGHT NOT BE LEGAL

April 1st, 2009 at 11:14 am

Vince FilmDrunk says:

You should’ve just checked to see if her taco was popped.

April 1st, 2009 at 11:14 am

Vince FilmDrunk says:

If the taco ain’t popped the charges must be dropped.

April 1st, 2009 at 11:47 am

Deux Deux Deux says:

And may God have mercy on his pole.

April 1st, 2009 at 11:48 am

Deux Deux Deux says:

Hey, new up! In that guy’s pants!

April 1st, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Tim Was Tim says:

I’m really not concerned with whether HE gets an erection.

April 1st, 2009 at 12:56 pm

AEVC again says:

Erections are illegal? I’ll give you my erection when you take it from my cold dead mom’s hands.

April 1st, 2009 at 1:30 pm

RM says:

Look at third pic, bottom right, tell me thats not Ape and Phil Margera.

April 1st, 2009 at 1:32 pm

RM says:

^^ bottom left

April 1st, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Pastor of Muppets says:

I’m fully erect right now, and i’m just looking at pics of her. imagine if i had been dancing with her. you’d see the wet spot in HD.

April 1st, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Buddy Love says:

RM that IS Phil and Ape Margera! Good eye! I’ve seen enough of them to know :D

April 1st, 2009 at 3:00 pm

bk says:

/googles shawn johnson

how cute, he birthday is exactly a week after mine… only she was born IN NINETEEN NINETY FUCKING TWO?!

oh well…

/clicks “images” anyway

April 1st, 2009 at 3:13 pm

CrabApple says:

It’s not wrong if you imagine yourself at 16 banging her because that is totally legal. Your 16 she’s 17 and it’s just 2 teenagers with out of control hormones.

Picture yourself as you are now banging her and that is just sick and you need to be in jail.

April 1st, 2009 at 4:37 pm

az9erfan says:

I was just a chubby-on….

April 1st, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Needs More Cheerleaders says:

He DIDN’T have a boner? What the fuck, is he gay?

Oh wait, he dances for a living. Carry on.

April 2nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Leapin_Lizards says:

Is it weird that I’d rather watch her do squats and deadlifts than be in a sex video? You just KNOW that lil bitch can shoulder press at least 120 lbs.

April 4th, 2009 at 9:50 am

Stiff_It_Is says:

If it was a simiple thing as popping over the waistline, he would have fixed it. You wasted your time trying to find an answer for the BONER! Your HD must not be work.
If it looks like a Boner, Woody, Chubby, Stiffy…IT IS!

April 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 am

chef says:

dont flattr him, its is a boner.. he just doesnt have a big weapon.

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