I am seriously considering turning this blog into an archive for Andy Rooney videos. Wouldn’t that be nice? An Andy Rooney archive? The National Archives are important. I went there once and saw the Constitution. The Constitution has some beautiful old lettering. Not like today’s lettering, with its predetermined fonts. If you take the first syllable off of “archive,” you get “chive,” but the Constitution’s nothing like an onion! You wouldn’t want to eat the Constitution, unless you were some kind of insect, maybe. But then if you were an insect who ate paper, you probably wouldn’t eat chives, so that still holds up.
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He’s probably talking to a cardboard box on a tripod.
Chuck Norris made his tree from a desk
oh my lord in heaven: what IS THAT THING hanging off of his upper lip?
I guess if you were an insect who ate paper, you could eat chives, but what kind of predator would you be? Herbivores eat only plants, and carnivores eat only meat. Omnivores eat both, but not everything. Sometimes I think my grandsons could eat anything, they’re so hungry all the time. It’s probably from all that running they do for Little League. I coached my son’s Little League team in 1966, but of course, the whole enterprise was a little simpler back then. The kids only got orange slices after they won a game. There was an orange shortage, you see.
*golf clap for aveh*
The biggest difference between teh Constitution and an onion? Andy Rooney dosn’t tie the Constitution to his belt.