05.07.09 BRISTOL PALIN: ‘DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I SCREW’

Find me something else that works 100 percent of the time

Duct Tape

the GOP is all about the children. She should hook up with Jonathan Krohn (this kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOUbkdwpZ2o)

At least her baby isn’t retarded. Take that, mom!

@Enrico: You know the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina, right?

“Do As I Say, Not As I Screw”

+1

Looks like she was prepped for that interview by the same people who prepped her mom for hers.

That baby better hope the Palin Moron Gene skips a generation.

I don’t know if the “Osbournes: Reloaded” tag is a mistake or not, but if that is now just the go-to tag for complete and utter television trainwrecks, I say bravo to you sir.

In other news, Lindsay Lohan is the new spokesperson for MADD, Snoop Dogg is the new spokesperson for Partners for a Drug-Free America, and Jessica Simpson is the new spokesperson for Mensa.

>>That baby better hope the Palin Moron Gene skips a generation.<<

Sarah, check. Bristol, check. Has a generation been skipped yet?

@Johnny – I have no idea how the Osbournes tag got there, but I kinda like it.

Sarah, check. Bristol, check. Has a generation been skipped yet?

There’s probably a missing link in between Sarah and Bristol. They keep her chained up in the attic because she’s one of them book reading types.

Come on, guys. She’s kinda cute, obviously promiscuous, completely dumb and Republican.
That’s hitting for the proverbial cycle in my book.

To clarify, I was talking about Bristol, not Sarah.

Wait… … … yeah, either one works.

+1 Punch R. However–what duct tape has to do with abstinence, my parole officer and I have no idea.

Hooo Baby! I never get tired of Palin Jokes!

Oh behave!

NOT!

(Those little catch phrases are old, amd out-dated you see.)

It’s about fucking time we had more teenage girls advocating anal sex. I didn’t bother watching the clip but that’s what she was talking about, right?

Should’ve pulled a Billy Bob.

Bristol: “When I was little, I used to bug my Mom for a Barbie house. ‘Momma, please’, I’d say. Eventually I crafted one from an old shoebox. I used my dirty underwear for Barbie’s couch and pretended Jem had a gastrointestinal disorder.”
Interview Guy: “Uh, what-what does that–”
Bristol: “It wasn’t quite the same as the real Barbie house, but it was all well and good.”
Interview Guy: “Okay, maybe we could redirect to the abstinence talk?”
Bristol: “Would you say that shit about Mother Theresa?”

“She’s promoting a great thing — abstinence. Find me something else that works 100 percent of the time.”

Well, certainly abstinence programs don’t.

“The issue here is the hypocritical refusal of pragmatism.”

I know! What’s next? Ex-cons trying to teach us that “crime doesn’t pay”? Drug addicts telling us that drug abuse is bad? High school dropouts telling us to “stay in school”?

It’s almost as if they expect us to believe that these people can tell us about the consequences now that they’ve lived through the experience.

Whatevs, hypocrites. We’re not buying your ticket to Squaresville. You did it, so you are forever prohibited from suggesting that others should make a different choice.

FUCK OFF LAWRENCE

+1 The Comish