DAMMIT SIMON, SIT DOWN
05.21.09You know, I don’t ask that much from the Internet. When there are two women with nice bodies in bikinis on a popular TV show, all I want is a massive collection of high-resolution photos taken from every angle possible. For free. But no. All I get is Simon Cowell’s stupid square head covering valuable real estate.
To elaborate: last night’s “American Idol” finale, in which Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell was awarded the “Golden Idol” statue for, uh, wearing a bikini, featured Darrell singing “Visions of Love” (horribly) before judge Kara DioGuardi interrupted her performance and took over singing (a nod to the episode in which DioGuardi outsang Darrell while sitting at the judges’ table). And then DioGuardi ripped open her dress to reveal a bikini. It was brief, pointless, and the two obviously don’t like each other, but hey: bikinis. Ratings gold, baby.
Anyway: relevant pictures, plus bonus unrelated bikini pictures. And before any of you ladies get catty about Katrina’s new boob job or how her face isn’t even pretty, I want you to look at yourself and say, “Am I wearing a bikini right now?” Because maybe the person you really don’t like is yourself.














That could have been a perfect moment for Katrina and Kara to start scissoring.
when reached for comment my dick gave a dismissive “meh”
you know, what has been completely lost out of the last two episodes in how bad that “No Boundaries” song is, which Kara and her crappy friends wrote
wow…that statement makes me sound kind of gay…
“Katrina’s new boob job or how her face isn’t even pretty,”
Both valid points. And yet, look at my penis, not caring anyway.
These two don’t like each other? Huh. That makes three of us.
There is no Dana, there is only Zuul.
Kara looks like Gozar the Gozarian.
All I get is Simon Cowell’s stupid square head covering valuable real estate.
You could set your watch to that haircut.
Not sure if I want these two to catfight or makeout.
My penis doesn’t care either way, apparently.