05.21.09 EVERYTHING ABOUT CONAN’S ‘TONIGHT SHOW’

The New York Times has a massive profile on Conan O’Brien’s impending tenure as the new host of “The Tonight Show,” and over the course of several thousand words it covers Conan’s rise fame, his idolization of Johnny Carson, his final days as host of “Late Night,” the causes of Jay Leno’s success, and the future landscape of late-night television.  It’s a pretty fascinating read, especially if you’re a geeky Conan fanboy like I am.  Some of my favorite passages:

On changing to fit a broader audience: “I’m not thinking about how I’m going to change myself to fit a certain demographic. I just have to block that nonsense out. In entertainment, you have to stake out what you think is right, you have to put out that signal, make sure it’s pure and then do it and do it and do it and know that they will come. And if they don’t, you have to pack up your bags and say: ‘I enjoyed my time here. Sorry it didn’t work out.’ But the biggest mistake would be to alter my signal to make sure that I reach all these different people. Because then you’re lost.”

On the early, troubled days of “Late Night”: “One executive,” O’Brien recalled, “particularly despised Andy [Richter]. He told me I’d never succeed until I ‘got rid of that big fat dildo.’”

On meeting network affiliates across the country: “I moved to Los Angeles on March 9, and I’ve only slept here two nights in three weeks.” [...] “If you want to host ‘The Tonight Show,’ you need to go to Kansas City and Cleveland and Milwaukee and San Jose and Oklahoma City. There’s something about the show that does belong to those people.”

On missing performing: “The other day, I was at my daughter’s school to read to the kids, and I started acting out all the characters. I ran into [wife] Liza on my way out, and she said, ‘How did it go?’ I said, ‘I killed in there!’ She looked at me and said: ‘They’re a bunch of 4-year-olds. You’re just supposed to read the book.’ ”

If you’ve got an extra hour, read the whole thing.  Of course, it probably won’t take you an hour to read.  My crippling ADD kept me from reading it all at soup.  I especially like gazpacho on a hot day.