Babies make people boring.   Matthew McConaughey was on Leno last night, and it was all “Levi this” and “Levi that” and stories about changing diapers and the faces that 8-month-olds make.  It was a grinding bore.  Man, there was a time when McConaughey still cared about livin’ — L-I-V-I-N — a time when he wasn’t afraid to get higher than a Winehouse kite, then go on “The Daily Show” and act out goats having sex.

This clip, amazingly, is from January 2001.  Crazy.  I don’t think the Internet was even around back then.  Or at least it wasn’t on people’s phones.  What happened?  Why did everyone stop getting high and telling goat sex stories on TV?  I blame the terrorists.  After 9/11, goat snowballing just seemed so frivolous.