05.28.09 ‘TRUE BLOOD’ SEASON TWO: ORGIES!

Here’s a new promo for Season 2 of HBO’s “True Blood” (debuting June 14th) that’s way better than the teaser trailer that came out at the beginning of the month.  I actually saw this a few days ago, but didn’t do anything with it because (a) I don’t even watch the show and (b) I met my monthly vampire news quota two weeks ago.  I’m only posting it now because EW’s Michael Ausiello has watched the first four episodes of the new season, which he says “gets off to a thrilling, gory, scary, sexy, disgusting, funny, suspenseful start.”  Some sexy details:

•    There are three orgies, all of them powered by Maryann’s (Michelle Forbes) aphrodisiac fairy dust.
•    Alexander Skarsgard’s Nordic vamp has an extremely homoerotic encounter with a character who shall remain nameless. In related news, there are about two dozen gratuitous shirtless shots in the first four episodes, all of them belonging to either Mechad Brooks (Tara’s new BF, Eggs) or Ryan Kwanten (Jason).
•    Sookie has a very revealing conversation with a new character in episode 4.
•    If you’re wondering what secret Merlotte’s newest waitress (played by Ashley Jones) is harboring, a clue can be found on her skin.

Dammit, Ausiello.  I got all excited about “gratuitous shirtless shots” and then he revealed that they were all shirtless shots of guys.  But don’t worry, I acted all grossed out before anyone could call me gay.