no-doubt-gossip-girl

Gossip Girl (CW) — It’s flashback-to-the-’80s episode featuring No Doubt that may or may not lead to a spin-off show next season (the CW has recently gone back on statements that made it sound like a certainty).

House (Fox) — Last week we got cheated out of getting to see much of House and Cuddy hooking up; tonight’s episode supposedly shows some more of it through the power of flashback.  The power of flashback is also how I have sex these days :(

Charm School with Ricki Lake (VH1) — Wait, WHAT?!?!?  Ricki Lake?  Good Lord, and I thought Sharon Osbourne was a moronic choice as a host of this show.  C’mon, let’s get someone with gravitas.  What are Judi Dench and Helen Mirren doing?  Real work?  Oh.  Very well then.

Weaponizers (Discovery) — Gizmodo: “Dudes armor-plate cars, mount them with machine guns and rockets, then hide in bunkers, operating them by remote control in an ultimate to-the-death Carmageddon… First the weaponized cars have to blow up fuel depots or medieval fortresses, stuff that doesn’t necessarily fight back, I suppose. In round two, the shit hits high gear, with ‘a gloves-off test’ of combative capability and remote-control driver technique, until the smoke clears and there is only one vehicle left.”  That boner you get for explosions?  It’s called an exploner.  Watch the trailer here.

25th Anniversary NASCAR All-Star Reunion (Speed) — You spoil us, Speed.

Swine Flu: The Science of Pandemics (NatGeo) — Apparently a pandemic is something that doesn’t spread all over the world and hardly kills any people, but gets a lot of hysteria resulting from media coverage.  Just like the Black Plague.