Today’s the day that both of the remaining households without cable or satellite television finally make the switch to digital TV feeds, and it’s INSANITY!!! Ahhh WHAT’S HAPPENING???? How was I supposed to know? Who saw this coming?!?!?!? Or, as The Live Feed — which is live-blogging news about the transition — smartly put it:
2.8 million Americans [are waking] to a new dawn of inconvenience, a disaster akin to a power outage (if the outage only impacted one appliance in your home, was entirely solved by a trip to Best Buy and you knew it was coming for two years in advance).
So what’s the problem? The problem is that it’s a GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY, MAN.
In a sprawling, consummately paranoid tirade, “Dr. A. True Ott” theorizes that the DTV box is a miniaturized version of the military’s HAARP project, a device that he claims will be used to totally pacify the world’s population, allowing the “New World Order” (funded by those international Freemason banking consortiums, natch) to deploy the military industrial complex and create a global fascist police state.
Quick everyone! Collect all the bottled water, canned food, and pandas you can find, and get to the bomb shelters!
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I didn’t do it (slickpanda.com)
ieChimp, I figured you were was trying to carry on the joke, but i the tone of my post came off way more seriously than i wanted it too.
Unrelated P.S.: “Whale wars” photo is the work computer’s current background.
Pacifying the world population? I’ll show that guy!
/gives up and goes to GorillaMask instead
Thanks for the info giant. Really Im just fuckin around. I think any land dwelling mammal could come up with that.
Curses, forgot to post the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp5WwfayLNY
At ieChimp: I think you will find the panda-monium concept orginated back in the early 1990′s on the Disney animated tv show “Talespin”, Really.
I’m at work so i can’t watch this but i know at some point the episode’s climactic battle scene Baloo yells, “Its Pandamonium!” while he is being shot at by panda flying airplanes. I’m not sure why i remember this from 19 years ago, despite not being able to remember most of what I learned in school. I guess its just a testament to how awesome that show was.
Seriously? No credit for Panda-Monium phrase? I’d link to that WL post, but I dont have the energy nor the time. You can speak with my lawyers Lichst, Mein, and Dick.
/jumps out window
//i’m on the first floor, so it’s cool
I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about you and/or this site. That banner pic is super duper.
I had no idea that the NWO was behind this. That Hulk Hogan is a sonofabitch!
As one of the two households dealing with this converter box, I can assure you that constant unexplained signal interruptions are not a good strategy for pacifying the populace. It’s like streaming tv over a goddamn dial up modem.
Spencer is in that van, right?
Should I not be masturbating to that photo?
HAARP IS REAL!!!!!!! OH F-UCK! Someone call Remo Williams!!
The Digital TV transition is no trouble at all if your cables are correctly polarized. Go to Screen 47 of the DTV Converter Box On-Screen Installation Guide and use the resident GPS to correctly align your antenna for each channel, allowing for local ionospheric conditions, and ARRRGGGHH!
Technical reference:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/06/12/tv-d-day-usa
I don’t know which picture was more awesome Pandamonium or the “Whale wars” one.
No Oprah! No Peace!