06.03.09 BLIND GUY TO DO ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’

Gerrard Gosens, a Paralympian who has attempted to climb Mount Everest in the past, has signed on to compete in Australia’s version of “Dancing with the Stars.”  Yeah, I know.  It’s a slow day, okay?

“I’m starting from scratch. It is a huge learning curve,” Gosens said.

Although there was one false start earlier in his life.

“I will never forget when I was 10 years old at a school disco, where my mates shoved me forward on to the dance floor, to dance with a girl,” he said.  “Unfortunately, due to the noise of the music, it was not until I returned to my mates that I was told I had cut the girl out and danced with a boy for two songs.”

…and the other boy didn’t say anything?  Gay kids are always taking advantage of blind kids that way.

You know, I used to make fun of everyone who goes on “Dancing with the Stars.”  Now I just desperately hope that one day I’ll be almost-famous enough to compete on the show.  You mean you want me to spend 12 hours a day with my hips pressed against a lithe dance instructor?  Well, okay. But I’m only doing this for charity.