patty-selma

Oh man.  Some jackass eggheads took notes while watching every episode of “The Simpsons,” and they came to the conclusion that the show may cause children to start smoking.  Break out your punchin’ fists, because it doesn’t get much stupider than this:

Krusty the Clown might have a pacemaker, and Selma and Patty raspy voices, but that doesn’t mean children will be repelled by the cigarettes hanging out of their mouths on The Simpsons. A study of the US cartoon… has raised concern that a high incidence of smoking among the characters might encourage young viewers to pick up the habit.

Researchers Dr Guy Eslick, an international fellow of the International Union Against Cancer, and Marielle Eslick, analysed 400 episodes of the first 18 seasons of the show. [...] Smoking was mostly portrayed in a neutral way, but in 35 per cent of cases it had negative connotations and 2 per cent of the time it was shown to be positive.

The research found that although Laramie cigarettes have been out of production in the US since the 1950s, the brand is widely used on cigarette packets in the series.

Stop and think about that for a second.  Analyze that sentence.  The research found that even though the fictional brand of cigarettes doesn’t exist in real life, the show uses a fictional brand of cigarettes.  Research.  It took research to discover that.

While the researchers acknowledged the move may have been intended as satirical, they said that even when smoking is portrayed in a negative way, it can still influence young people’s behaviour.

Yes.  Even when smoking is portrayed in a negative way, it can still influence young people’s behavior IF THEY’RE F-CKING STUPID.  God, I hate everything about this study.  I’ve never wanted to punch words before.