colbert-puppy

Last night’s bounty of late-night riches was especially fruitful on Comedy Central, where Stephen Colbert is still doing awesome shows from Iraq in his digital camouflage Brooks Brothers suit.  The clip I’ve got below is a pre-taped segment in which Colbert and Tom Hanks put together a care package for troops.  There are some really funny moments, but I’ll be honest: I’m really just posting it for the puppy (they jokingly try to include puppies and ice cream in the care package).

For anyone who’s actually sending out a care package to troops, don’t send the usual drink mixes and baby wipes.  Two words: beef jerky.  Beef jerky is expensive as all hell, hard to acquire, and it goes quickly because it’s a perfect snack while you’re on patrol.  Send beef jerky, all forms of tobacco (the U.S. military runs on dip, cigarettes, and caffeine), and — if you REALLY support the troops — contraband.  Say, booze in a Listerine bottle and porn.  One box of that to combat troops, and you’re entitled to ram somebody’s yellow ribbon car magnet up their ass.

Also after the jump: Jason Jones of “The Daily Show” goes to the New York Times offices and DESTROYS everyone there.  It’s actually a better clip than the Colbert one.  But I’d rather talk about war than newspapers.  I’m a red-blooded, woman-humpin’ man that way.