06.25.09 R.I.P. MICHAEL JACKSON

My mind has been corrupted for years upon years of Jackson kiddie sex/skin bleaching jokes, but I believe there was a still a good man somewhere inside of him.

While I think he he committed certain deeds to warrant all the insults (and more), he still did have a profound impact on society. R.I.P.

Well, they just bailed out Sanford.

I’ve seen the best and the worst of Jackson through the years. The awesomeness of the Thriller album. I mean man that thing was the shit when I was six. The retardery of his downward spiral. The headshaking stupidity of some of his fans both here and most decidedly abroad. I remember specifically this one girl in my hometown that walked around with the red jacket, the glove, the glasses, and the album ALL THE TIME. I mean ALL THE TIME. She eventually got locked away in a psych ward for that shit.

RIP man. It’s unlikely that history will remember you for what you did good, and that’s your fault. In fact, CNN right now is flip flopping between the child molestation and the world peace efforts.

I also had these awesome Jacko ____ko jokes that, now, are going to go to waste.

Well, we know he’ll still be the best dancer during any zombie uprisings.

I have no joke here. Over the past 15 years he was clearly not the man I idolized as a child, but he was so singularly iconic that his music never lost its appeal, and he never lost his charisma. I could never quite make up my mind about what was true and what was not, but I never doubted the mastery of Off The Wall, Thriller, Bad, and to a lesser extent, Dangerous.

This is sad.

Punch: I also recall someone who pretended to be Michael Jackson. He was over 6 feet tall, white, bald, kind of looked like a construction worker, but talked and sang just like the King of Pop. He also spent some time in a psych ward, but was released and went on to sing some girl a birthday song.

I can think of no better way to honor someone’s memory than a gratuitous Simpsons reference.

MTV is currently breaking its streak of 15+ years without playing a music video to air a Michael Jackson marathon.

Nice try, Michael. I’m still not convinced this isn’t a rehash of “Thriller.”

*pours out some wine from a diet-coke on the crub*

Wow, I haven’t been a Michael Jackson fan since the 80’s but this one is hitting surprisingly hard. So many ‘tween memories surrounding the gloved one. From MTV to the pyro-pepsi accident. My young mind was first opened to racial issues because of friends and family reactions to his success.

Here’s hoping he wasn’t a molester and that he’s sipping Jesus juice with the big guy.

…although the evil side of me is already imagining how South Park will play this.

He couldn’t accessorize for shit. Man. Time for a blast of “Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough”.

I dont think he molested anyone, because if you love your kid there isnt enough money you could get that could make up for justice.

“We got 10 million bucks but that guy whose dick you sucked as a kid is still out there dancing. Hope that used Lexus I got for your birthday, washed the taste of cock out your mouth.”

Such a great talent that even with the addition of the internet, no entertainer has come close to his level.

Best video: I humbly nominate Smooth Criminal. Best dancing + ganster suits = win. The Thriller video fans may now commence calling me an asshole.

It’s too bad he died. 50 is too young. So, with that out of the way, let me state for the record that Thriller sucked ass. Having had the dawn of MTV happen right in my wheelhouse, it was great that we could actually flip on the tv and see videos. But then fucking Thriller comes along, and all we can see is gay zombies dancing in the street over and over and over. Even the local rock radio station got in on the action and started playing Beat It because Eddie Van Halen plays guitar! Shit. Michael Jackson ceased to be good right around the same time that his father stopped beating his ass. Go buy a Best of Jackson 5 album, and pretend nothing happened after that. You’ll be better off for it.

You know why Michael Jackson got excited at the Walmart right?

Let me say I’m lucky to have mucho Michael Jackson on the ipod, he was a one of a kind talent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jwwS6HxVxE

@Sheriff–all due respect to the J5, early Beatles, Off the Wall and Thriller are as good as pop music gets. Meh to the Thriller video though–Beat It and Billie Jean were better.

Wow. Michael Jackson songs play in the background of so many of my fond childhood memories. Reflecting for a moment on way he has and will continue to influence popular music and culture helped me realize something important about my own life: I really gotta get in a celebrity death pool next year.

That’s ashame. He had some good music. More and more people are dying young.

May Michael Jackson rest in peace despite some of the negative things said about him.

At least he died without any hangups. No trials or investigations or any of that.

Damn! It just feels strange to have him dead. McMahon and Fawcett were at least old (as was Carradine. Sure, it wasn’t the cause of his death but he was due in a few anyway so it’s hard to care). This was completely unexpected. I thought the headline was a joke.

I wonder if we missed anything. I’m not going to pretend that his death is of any real, lasting trouble for me, as it will be for his family. I’m only sad that we won’t get to hear a possible comeback album. There were rumblings for the past few years that he was planning a comeback. Maybe whatever he managed to record will get released.

Well, we’ll always to be able to rock out to his classics. Like most faggots, I’ll probably be listening to his songs for the next couple days. R.I.P., K.O.P.

Well, if he did manage to record something, and someone was to put it out there, it’s already gone triple platinum. Nothing trumps a comeback album like a posthumous album.

Unless it’s fucking terrible, then only double platinum.

@BM — thanks for that. Forgot that the game was called Moonwalker, not Smooth Criminal. Post edited.

Strangely enough, it would be a fitting tribute if someone put together a video of Keyboard Cat playing him off. How would this be fitting? Because Michael Jackson was incredibly ahead of his time when it came to cats playing pianos.

I’m not kidding – go watch the extended video of Smooth Criminal. Pay close attention at 5:45.

R.I.P. you poor mixed-up man.

Shall we Sha-mourn?

Farrah’s ghost must be PISSED that Michael stole her thunder.

Let’s not forget, he’s a pedophile.

I’ll always remember Michael as the guy who fucked me in the ass when I was 9. Burn in Hell, fucker!

/why would anyone mourn the death of a pedophile who bought his freedom???
//are MJ fans also Gary Glitter fans?

Awesome Wallpaper

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/michael-jackson/images/6875339

Michael Jackson was so rad. He had the most effed up life ever, but dude, P.Y.T.

Seriously.

Michael Jackson sucked for so many creepy reasons that everyone knows and many people ignore. Sure he was hugely popular all around the world, but just because something’s popular doesn’t makes it good. If that were true then McDonald’s would be the best food on the planet because millions of people around the world buy their hamburgers and french fries.

People just love to worship central larger-than-life figures, and if you watch enough of Michael Jackson’s videos, he had a tendency to visually make himself out to be some sort of god on Earth. There was lots of flash, and a lot of stupid people fall for that sort of thing.

Now he’s a dead god, and that’s a good thing.

(oh, and I’m an atheist)