Scientology unveiled three new commercials, and I’m kind of freaked out by how resonant they are.  They’re all inspirational and speak to the natural yearnings of the human spirit in the 21st century.  As I watched them I was like, “Yeah, totally!” and then the commercials were all “SCIENTOLOGY” and I felt all sick inside.  It’s the same kind of feeling you get when you see a hot chick with really great legs… and then you realize it’s a transvestite.  You just want to scrub your brain with Clorox.  (Actually, I think scrubbing your brain with Clorox is part of the auditing process to Level VIII.  Ha ha, just kidding Scientology!  p.s. Don’t sue.)

Two more after the jump (via The Live Feed). The last one sounds a lot like a monologue from Fight Club.