07.02.09 ‘BIG BROTHER’ EMBRACES HIGH SCHOOL CLIQUES

In this deleted scene, Judd Nelson’s character demonstrates what would later be known as “the Buffalo Bill”

Sigh.  This summer’s upcoming installation of “Big Brother” will put the housemates on teams according to their status in high school.  Let’s go to the press release:

The House Guests will be shocked to learn that they will be playing the game in one of four familiar high school cliques – popular, athletes, brainiacs and off beats.  They will compete for food, safety from eviction and luxury prizes as part of their clique.

It’s a good thing they separated the popular people from the athletes — those groups never get along!  Oh, why can’t the starting quarterback ever find an attractive girl to date?

“You may have graduated, but the truth is we never leave high school [WRONG. Die. -Ed.] and this summer we are going to prove it,” says Allison Grodner, Executive Producer of  BIG BROTHER. “From the brains to the jocks to the off-beat, everyone will be able to identify to one of these cliques, giving the viewers a group to root for and against from the very beginning.  The division will cause instant drama.”

Sweet.  What every productive member of society grows to realize is that high school is a source of angst — even for the most popular kids — because it unfairly shoehorns complex individuals into overly simplistic boundaries.  But that’s CBS for you.  CBS is the popular kid who made fart noises during class and tripped smaller kids in the hallway.   Whatever, man, he doesn’t need to pass stupid-ass algebra.  His dad owns a dealership.