07.09.09 I LOVE YOU, MARY-LOUISE PARKER

Remember what the pie looked like after Jason Biggs boned it in that movie? That’s what I’d do to MLP.

I’ll have some hair pie, please sans the hair

….but with less shame and more cheers and high fives.

Move over, Lauren Graham, there’s a new Mrs. Robinson in town.

Must…resist…masturbating…

/at work

She’s my cherry pie Cool drink of water such a sweet surprise Tastes so good makes a grown man cry Sweet Cherry Pie

/plays air guitar to Warrant

Diane Lane and a kiddie pool filled with pudding think MLP is all bark and no bite.

*crosses fingers and toes*

Even the pie recipe is sexy

I can’t believe someone remembered Jason Biggs’ name.

I would fuck Kevin Nealon just to get a glimpse of MLP masturbating.

My penis is very confused by her. Typically, the only things he likes that are over 40 years old are Playboys from the 1960s.

Shit, I’d give Billy Crudup a handjob just knowing his dick had been inside of her. But not Claire Danes because, you know, ick.

@Vodka

Yeah, I remember Jason Biggs. I’m old school like that.

//zips up Starter jacket, inflates Reebok pumps and Bartman’s off into the sunset.

I’d like to stick a finger in that pie, to check if it’s warm and moist.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHH!! SHE’S SO FUCKING HOT!!!!

//rips off pants. begins to masturbate violently while screaming.

I don’t remember MLP being this hot 10 years ago; it’s almost like her hotness is in reverse. Shit, by the time she’s 60 she’ll have a pair of 36DDs.

+1000 Burnsy

/Wonders how to get through whole day with hard-on

I just made a cream pie.

I’m watching a TiVo’d episode of Weeds right now, and Alanis Morissette is giving MLP a gynecological exam. Now, I’m 100% certain no actual nudity was involved, but still….Alanis does not appear grateful enough to be viewing that fish-flavored creme brulee.

She’s dirty and she knows it! “If your good, you get desert” with a photo of a cherry – translate – How would you like to suck on my big nipples! Well Miss Parker, if I’m good, do I get to suck your nipples?