delta-burke-liza-minnelli

I know Lifetime landed a ratings coup with the upcoming season of “Project Runway,” but everything else about the channel is so immensely depressing that I get suicidal just thinking about the kind of people its programming appeals to.   To wit: Liza Minelli and Delta Burke have been cast as guest stars in an upcoming episode of “Drop Dead Diva.”  Get ready for sad faces:

Minnelli plays a psychic who takes her sister (Burke) to court after she opens a competing psychic shop directly across the street from her store. Their episode also features an encore appearance by Rosie O’Donnell as a judge…

Drop Dead Diva… tells the story of a vapid model who dies in a sudden accident only to be reborn in the body of a brilliant, plus-size attorney (Brooke Elliott). [EW]

That’s right, fatties.  You were all once supermodels in a previous life.  And so were your fat heroes.  Now break open another pint of Haagen-Dazs, let your cats get comfortable in your oversized lap, and stay tuned to Lifetime for “Summer’s Hottest Muumuus”!