The Bachelorette (ABC) — The guy that wins gets stuck with a short Canadian with a good personality. The guy that loses gets his pick of at least 25 girls on the next season of “The Bachelor.” Silver is the new gold. Watch a preview clip after the jump.
Making His Band (MTV) — Remember Diddy’s show about making crappy pop groups? Well, this one is for Diddy’s very own band, for what the artist is calling his final album. Oh yay! Ya promise?
Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen) — Disclaimer: no asses will actually be danced off.
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo) — You know what would get HUGE ratings? “Kathy Griffin: Her Death in the Decompression Chamber.”
Weird, True, & Freaky (Animal Planet) — Just like this gigantic cyst. Don’t watch the video at that link. I’m telling you, don’t watch it. All right man, you do what you gotta do. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Charm School (VH1) — Season finale. Whatever that’s worth.
The T.O. Show (VH1) — After an unforgivably long 60-minute debut, this episode is half an hour. Still half an hour too long, of course.
Cake Boss (TLC) — There’s a tiki cake that spits fire in tonight’s new episode. So much better than boring old candles.
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Silver is the new gold is an understatement. Fuck this bitch and her ski slop nose!! Shouldn’t she be up in Whistler getting ready for the olympics?
Last night’s “No Reservations” (which I haven’t watched yet) included a segment with Anthony Bourdain hanging out in Baltimore with Felicia “Snoop” Pearson! You never miss an opportunity to plug “The Wire” and the Bourdain-Snoop combo is a pretty sweet tv mash-up. For shame!
Ya know it’s a bad night for TV when the gigantic cyst is the least offensive item on the list.
My wife is a nurse, and I just showed her that video.
Her: Those chicks are fucking pussies.
Me: Do cysts really smell?
Her: Yeah, they sometimes smell like bad fish.
Me: /vomits
I recommend popthatzit.com for all the grossest zits/cysts, ever.
The cyst video was fucking ill. She must really love that mother fucker to pop his cyst.
Jillian isn’t bad looking but man do I want to fuck Kiptyn
Post needs a “Things that can’t be unseen” tag.
Don’t watch it, people, I’m telling you.
/Knows you will anyway
//Welcome to my hell, motherfuckers
I’m beginning to think that about 5% of the videos on the internet would cause the viewers’ face to melt, just like the Japanese guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
DON’T LOOK AT IT, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!
Why didn’t you warn me?
That gigantic cyst looks like a MRSA infection. Quick public service announcement: please wear gloves when cleaning. MRSA can be present in the pus and is quick to spread. The girlfiend was wearing a band-aid on her index finger and hopefully did not get infected.
But please keep filming these. I love me some good MRSA.