07.08.09 WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: NPH ON ‘TOP CHEF’

“Hey baby, I hope you’re hungry.”

Top Chef: Masters (Bravo) — Pro chefs have to cook an egg with one hand tied behind their backs.  More importantly: Neil Patrick Harris alert!  NPH serves as guest judge during the elimination.

RENO 911! (Comedy Central) — Season finale. Meh.

Time Team America (PBS) — PBS valiantly tries to make archaeology interesting.  Hmmm… needs more Nazis, Harrison Ford.

Monsters Inside Me (Animal Planet) — You should see the monsters inside… MY PANTS! Seriously, crabs are no laughing matter, people.

Extreme Miami Hot Spots (Travel) — If this episode doesn’t show me where I can get some high-grade cocaine, then I question their use of the word “Extreme.”

True Hollywood Story: Baseball Wives (E!) — Supposedly, compared to Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise, this isn’t crap.  At the very least, it’s got Jennie Finch, so it’ll be nice to look at.

Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) — I only mention this because Emma Watson (seen revealing her panties here) is the second guest.  Pedo Bear was pretty stoked until he heard she was 19.