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Delta Company (Military Channel) — From 2:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. tonight is a two-part documentary about my tank company’s invasion of Iraq.  It’s not exactly the all-time greatest war documentary, and there’s not nearly enough of that handsome Lieutenant Ufford in it for my liking, but the first-hand footage of all the explosions f-cking OWNS.  You can watch the actual secondary explosions described here.

16 and Pregnant (MTV) — A pregnant teen goes to the prom.  And all the other kids talk behind her back about how sad her existence is.

Raising Sextuplets (We) — Suddenly relevant now that Jon & Kate have been successfully destroyed.

The Listener (NBC) — A telepathic paramedic.  Uh huh.  Sure.  Don’t get me wrong, paramedics are awesome and total badasses, but if I had mental telepathy, I’d be in a job where I could make loads more money.

The Jacksons: An American Dream (VH1) — Really? We’re still mourning Michael Jackson?  That’s so last week.  Whither the love for Karl Malden?  **watches Patton for 37th time**

All right, everybody.  If you’re taking off for the 4th, have a happy weekend.  If you’re sticking around tomorrow, I’ll be checking in with some links and a weekend preview.  Other than that, you’re on your own.