The ratings are in: Cash for Clunkers is a hit! Obama has scored big with his new program that turns unwanted gas guzzlers into tasty rebates. Viewers and voters are going crazy for it!

Conan is jumping on the band wagon no doubt looking to nab a little of that hot Obama loving group which consists of males and females ages 3-90. His ratings have been slipping so hopefully he’ll be able to regain some of that lost ground by destroying Americans’ personal property.