paula-matt-giraud

Last week, Paula Abdul announced her departure from “American Idol,” and it’s doubtful that she’ll return unless Fox ponies up $10 million a season for her to slur encouragement while Simon Cowell rolls his eyes.  And yet, despite the fact that she’s a waste of carbon compounds robbing the Earth of precious oxygen, ABC wants to put her on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Stephen McPherson, the president of ABC Entertainment, told reporters here Saturday that he contacted Ms. Abdul immediately after he heard the news… “I definitely have reached out to her,” Mr. McPherson said, “first and foremost to say I was sorry about the situation and also that we’d love to see her on ABC.”

This is bananas.  Paula Abdul is a former pop musician whose career was resurrected by “American Idol” for reasons that continue to elude me.  In eight seasons on the show, she has been an incoherent mess, stumbling around words and doing little more than what a trained seal could accomplish: clap and bark approval.  And I only say “little more” because I don’t think a seal would sleep with one of the contestants on the show.  Though I might like to see that.