‘I WANT MY BACON!’
08.31.09So, here’s the clip from “Wife Swap” that’s surging all over the Internet: a tubby little jackass gets pissed off that his health-conscious replacement mom throws away his bacon. And while the kid has a point — you do NOT throw away bacon! — he’s a fat whiny chump with a stupid haircut, and the mom is a sexy lady with a big rack. Winner: the hot mom. I’d let her throw away my bacon as long as she… ya know… take your pick of meat innuendos: pork sword, roast beef curtains, sausage, tube steak, furburger, etc. And don’t forget hair pie for dessert.
[Buzzfeed]
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I love the tiny license plate on his bedroom wall that reads “LOW N SLO”
I had this whole thing written out that made fun of this kid…then I realized I would act the same way if a black woman threw away my bacon
Seriously though bitch, don’t throw away bacon.
Lesson Learned: Don’t give your kids suitcases.
I’d rail the shit out of stand-in mom. Squeeeaaaaaaaaal like bacon in the trash.
Fuck, I’d elect this kid president. He’s had it up to here with that no-talent ass clown of a fake mom running his life, and bacon’s the last straw! So what does he do? No whining, no hissy fit, just swings his nuts out on the table and says “Look here, bitch. You took my bacon. I’m not playing your silly-ass games anymore. I’m packing my shit, and I’m-a high-tailin’ it outta here, even if I have to fuckin’ walk ’cause I cain’t drahhhhve yet. You can take your Rubbermaid tubs labeled ‘junk’ and GTFO, and I’ll be back after that happens. Peace, bitch.”
Those massive black titties are only going to be there till Saturday. Bacon is forever.
“Having delivered the mail, Harry tries to conceal his letter, but Cousin Ragtime Roast Beefy thinks that Harry has a possible cookie or wafer and takes away the letter before Harry can open it.”
“And don’t forget hair pie for dessert.” Always eat your dessert first, you could get jizz in it. Or use a condom.
“The poor helpless defenseless food.”
What a lard-ass fat body. Get off the couch, stop hiding the snacks from each other and fucking eat a salad Gomer.
F that kid. This commenter woulda definitely bent over the hot mom and repeatedly gave her the Magic Stick. If I needed to eat a bowl of fruit first, then so be it.
The kid was THIS CLOSE to calling her the N-word. I think we were all expecting that.
That broad should learn to butter up his bacon, dammit.
Seriously? These shows make me feel much better about my life.
Maybe Chubskins will learn how to speak correctly while he’s on the road.
/Southerner, but I don’t sound like that
I like how he’s out of breath by the end of the clip.
He then went down to courthouse and legally changed his name to Eric Cartman.
It was pretty funny until he had a massive heart attack when he reached the end of the driveway.
Also forgotten: The classic “Hot Beef Injection”.
Don’t put junk into your body.
Unless it’s silicone.
And that little boy went on to become Jefferson Davis.
Question: Why is the father not slapping the shit out of that kid for being so disrespectful?
“take your pick of meat innuendos”
you forgot “ham wallet”
I used to have a similar stupid haircut. At the same time of my life I wore Jams shorts. Deduction? Kids are stupid.
He does have a point about the bacon.
This kid is going to get pumbled by diabetes.
This is the weirdest possible recasting of the “pork chops taste good” scene from Pulp Fiction.