NEW ON VH1: ‘MEGAN WANTS A MURDERER’
08.19.09Ryan Jenkins, one of the supposed millionaires on VH1′s “Megan Wants a Millionaire,” has been declared a person of interest in the murder of the woman with whom he was involved (not Megan Hauserman, unfortunately). Jasmine Fiore, a bikini model who allegedly married Jenkins in Las Vegas after they met at a strip club, was found inside a suitcase in a Dumpster in Buena Park, California after she was strangled to death. Oh I know, it’s hard to believe that a woman named Jasmine was in a strip club. And that a man with a carefully groomed goatee might murder someone.
She was first reported missing by Jenkins on Saturday night. We’re told the Buena Park PD has been trying unsuccessfully to contact him and fear he may be on the run. A police official told us they fear the 32-year-old Jenkins, a resident of Calgary, may be fleeing to Canada. As the official put it, “It’s suspicious.” [TMZ]
Holy crap, this story is a massive combination of every joke I’ve ever told. It’s at the center of my comedic Venn diagram. Well, not the exact center. There’s no rape involved. Not unless Jenkins goes to prison, anyway.
(Fiore’s modeling pictures are here and here. I didn’t post them because I’m classy like that. More on this story at the LA Times. Thanks to “gimp” for the tip.)


After spending several weeks put up in a house with a bunch of other dudes competing for the “love” of a vapid skank I’d probably end up killing someone too…Just saying, that Megan chick is pretty dense.
Ryan Gosling’s character from Lars and the Real Girl thinks she looks kinda fake.
Buena Park: Home of Knott’s Berry Farm, Medieval Times restaurant, and Samsonited strippers!
/why the fuck didn’t I get that Chamber of Commerce job???
So where was she traveling to?
jeez, what a lazy bastard. Just leaving a body in a suitcase in a dumpster is not the best way to dispose a body. He could have cut the body apart and dumped it to the bottom of the ocean. He could have dissolved the body in a tub of acid. I mean there are so many options- he could have just dropped the body off in a vacant Baltimore rowhouse.
Golf-clap
The heads at VH1 all ready have the wheels turning on the next great reality show.
Watch Ryan go from strawberries and wine to dingleberries and fermented apples.
OMG WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER FACE AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH SCARRED FOR LIFE NOW
I’m willing to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume that this was a bondage-related accident. This girl looks like she’d have quite a bit of trouble remembering a “safe” word that was more than two syllables long.
I’m with McFRY: This dude has some serious balls on him if he was brave enough to hit THAT fucked-up looking broad.
However, the picture of him holding the suitcase and standing next to the dumpsters is quite damning. Wait, what?
“However, the picture of him holding the suitcase and standing next to the dumpsters is quite damning. Wait, what?” LOL
oh photoshop you sneaky bastard you…
I have a really great idea for the series finale of “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ sponsored by Bag ‘n Baggage and Waste Management.
DUMB ASS WANTS A DOLLAR…..
DO’S SHE KNOW HOW TO SPELL HER NAME?? SHE’S SOOOO STUPID…
Okay, so after reading the first few comments I realized how immature and stupid the majority of the population of the internet is….So what if megans dense thats not Jasmine’s fault is it? And I bet 100 dollars that Jasmine is way prettier than the dumb bitch who said “eww im scared for life” thats why you didn’t put a picture of yourself up right? Because I’m sure I would have projectile vomited as soon as I saw you. People grow up. This man took another person’s life. HE TOOK a LIFE does that not faze you idiotic people? Or must you judge on looks alone because now shes bits and pieces and you people are just like bwhahahaha shes ugly, hes stupid, megans retarded, well ida done this. And yea I went there. If you say you would have done it diferently you are seriously fucked up and im sure you kill cats and dogs. You people fucking disgust me….