08.18.09 OH. MY. GOD.

“This is edited to perfection”

don’t you mean purr-fection?

btw, the video doesn’t play.

If her eyes were any closer together she’d be Shaq.

Cat massage…cat massage…cat massage…

That was glorious. And I’ve occasionally wondered what happened to Anne Murray.

btw, the video doesn’t play.

Fix yo innernet. Works just fine.

“Most people will go right to the back.”
Not me, honey; I go straight for the anus.
Call me!

2:25-2:30: I’m no Dr. Doolittle but I’m pretty sure that cat just said, “Yo, is this bitch serious?”

“A drooler is not someone who specializes in rings or watches.” Ah, Jesus. I had to stop the video until I stopped laughing.

“She forgets to swallow, and then she drools.”

The similarities between massaging a cat and molesting a grandmother never cease to amaze me.

“No oils or lotions needed”

This can also apply to hand jobs.

“Who’s the craziest woman in the United States? It’s you, gap toothed woman, it’s you.”

Play the cat massage lady off, Keyboard Cat.

I can’t wait for her next video where she shows how to give a cat a tongue bath.

Does this apply to all cats? I’m gonna to try this with a cougar on the UES later tonight.

I kept waiting for the moment when Champion rose up and clawed her face off. Sadly, it never happened.

“Start from the base of the rump, rubbing your way out, and follow it to its natural conclusion.” What amazing technique for petting a tale! If only this could be applied to some other activity. BTW: “Drooler” ≠ “jeweler”

“… petting a tail …” Damnit

Just like a cat during a massage, I am in kitty heaven right now!

2:25-2:30 reminds me a lot of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hjm45D9JTNw

Notice how she calls Chomper-Dompers the, “… best cat in the whole United States.”

Clearly, by her narrowing the field to just America, the implication is that there’s an international cat somewhere with a higher ranking. Probably from Belgium, I’m guessing. Their cats are the shit. Plus they have the lowest rate of Whisker Watch Alerts of any developed nation, I hear.

And you know, technically, A drooler COULD be someone who specializes in rings and watches. Like a jeweler. But a jeweler who also happens to drool. Transitive Property, yo.

Just like a cat during a massage, I am in kitty heaven right now!.

I took notes, even though I don’t have a cat.

This dame doesn’t know anything about massaging a cat – try between his shoulder blades, lamebrain – puts him in kitty heaven! And by the way, my cats will not permit you to touch their tummy or their tail – what does that leave in this silly video?

I know Nancy! It’s like people don’t know anything about cat massage at all!

/kills self

Is it wrong that I want to bend her over the nearest table and…?