shatner

As a follow-up to the viral success of his poetic reading of Sarah Palin’s resignation speech on “The Tonight Show,” William Shatner granted an interview with Time and proceeded to blow the roof off the internet yet again.  Things I learned today: Shatner suckles from Conan O’Brien’s belly button, collaborated with Ben Folds on a spoken-word version of “Common People,” and made housing from a kidney stone.  The highlights:

So what is your relationship with Conan like when the cameras are off?
It’s great, he folds me into his arms and I come up to his belly button. So I suckle on his belly button and he holds me close. [Laughs.] That can lead to any kind of relationship, right?

Have you seen the latest Star Trek film?
I haven’t. Abrams sent me a message through the Web — what was it, Twittered me? No. YouTubed me? No, what has he done? E-mailed me. He e-mailed me saying he heard that I hadn’t seen the movie and he’d set up a private screening, and I declined the private screening and told him I’d buy him dinner.

Is it true that you once sold a kidney stone for $25,000 and donated the money to Habitat for Humanity?
$75,000. There’s somebody living in a house from my kidney stone. A lovely, large family somewhere in northern Louisiana.

So what body part is next?
Well, it depends on the price, I guess. I can spare very little, mind you. I might try liposuction and spread that around.

Dammit that man is awesome.  I hope you’re appreciating him now while he’s still alive, because he’s 78 now.  And he doesn’t exactly look like the kind of guy who gets great gas mileage, if you know what I’m sayin’.  So let’s appreciate him now before the Celebpocalypse claims him next.