This is a screen capture of the footer at philly.com earlier today. I’ve removed most of the color to highlight the fact that for the story about the FTC banning “robocalls,” someone on staff used a “Simpsons” screencap of the infamous AT-5000 Auto-dialer that Homer uses to run a telephone scam in the episode where Lisa dates Nelson (episode 4F01, “Lisa’s Date with Density” — **gets punched by football player**).
This got me thinking about the episode in question, and I realized that it’s underrated in the pantheon of great “Simpsons” episodes. Not only does it feature Nelson’s Nuke the Whales poster, but there are countless quotes here that work perfectly in everyday conversation. “Frankly, I expected better from Jimmy the Scumbag.” “My H has been stolen! Awww, that’s how people know its a Honda!” “Do you find something funny about the word ‘tromboner’?” “He can’t hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.” “When she sees you’ll do anything she says, she’s bound to respect you!”
And so on. Go ahead, re-live the majesty yourself. Your boss’ll just be happy you’re not looking at porn for once.
(thanks to stalwart commenter Danger Guerrero for the tip)


Apu: You’ve clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them on top of the doughnut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles.
Homer: Well, it was like that when I got here. It really was!
Apu: A Mounds Bar is not a sprinkle. A Twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-la they are, but not here.
I’d be happier with the dollar.
Gotta nuke somethin’
I had a Nuke The Whales license plate frame from age 16 to 21. Best years of my life.
“the infamous AT-5000…episode 4F01, “Lisa’s Date with Density””
So, you do understand why you spend your days alone in your apartment, blogging and masturbating, right?
/Feels only slightly less geeky than Matt…
Oh, you think this stolen ‘H’ is a laugh riot, don’t you? Well, I’ll tell you something that’s not so funny. Right now, Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl.
NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!
Oh man, you just kissed a girl! That’s so gay!
See you in court, Simpson. Oh, and uh, bring that evidence with you. Otherwise, I got no case, and you go scot-free, you know.
The noozle at the end of the hoose!!
What’s inside you right now?
Guts, black stuff, and about 50 Slim Jims.
Guess who likes you.
[tinyurl.com]
but only if you want to watch it.
Will you two shut up?! People are trying to sleep!
Hey, who shot the auto-dialer?! uhh…Marge’s auto-dialer…
Oh, brandishing your buttocks is only making me angrier!
BOMB THE INDIANS! TAKE THEIR CASINOS!
/truer words have never been spoken
Only way out, is suicide…This episode is underrated if you put it towards the bottom of a top ten list of best epsiodes ever.
Who’s out there? Give me your names so I can tell the police.
D’oh, I didn’t notice that Matt’s link was full of quotes from that episode. And here I wasted brain cells trying to remember funny quotes on my own. Internet > Rebecca.
How does syndication work? This very episode is on in upstate NY right now, if not everywhere. Well played.
Underrated? Anyone who didn’t ALWAYS love that episode is an idiot. Even though syndication ruined one of their best jokes (alluded to earlier):
“She was looking at Nelson.”
“LISA LIKES NELSON!”
“She does not!”
“MILHOUSE LIKES LISA!”
“He does not!”
“JANIE LIKES MILHOUSE!”
“She does not!”
“UDER LIKES MILHOUSE!”
“Nobody likes Milhouse!”
Also, it was a Hyandai. That’s what made it funnier.
“How are people going to know it’s a Hyandai?”