WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: A WHALE OF A WAR
08.07.09
Monk (USA) – The season premiere of the eighth and final season. I feel badly for the fans of this show with OCD once it goes off the air. No, wait, that’s “I feel bad” for them. Feeling badly means I’m bad at feeling, which I am, put that’s not my message here. Or is it “I’ll feel bad”? I don’t feel bad yet, but I will when the show is over. Good grammar. Must have good grammar. Should I have put a semicolon there?
Blood in the Water (Discovery) – A look at the 1916 New Jersey shark attack that inspired Jaws, with commentary and reenactments, even when they scurry around to find a bigger boat.
Surviving Suburbia (ABC) – I did it, so can you!
Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO) – Arianna Huffington appears on the show to dine on aborted fetuses with Maher in celebration of Sonia Sotomayor’s swearing in as an associate justice on the Supreme Court. I kid, I kid. They’ll only drink their blood.
Whale Wars (Animal Planet) - I cheated you out of your Nuke the Whales poster last week, but I won’t make the same mistake twice. Whatever it takes to see ourselves through this deadly conflict.

It’s been fun pretending to know anything about television for a week. Your fearless leader Ufford returns Monday

Wow, I didn’t know Monk was still airing. Or that people actually watch it.
Mike, I hope you clean up all the cum and soy sauce before Matt gets back. Or, at least douse it all in scotch, so he’ll recognize the smell.
/reading post while tapping left index finger four times before I comment on “Monk”
//lost count…starting over…now I have to add tainthair-plucking to ritual
How could you forget to promote the Psych premier when you give so much credit to Monk? Dude Seriously? I mean it only spawned the worst prime-time copy in the history of television. God I hate the f&%$ing mentalist!
Monk – never watched, don’t know of anybody that ever has.
I liked the “bad/badly” humor more when it was in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”.
Good work this week though.
Wait, Ufford has been gone?