drugs-guns“Honey, are you packed for the weekend yet?” “Just need to get my toothbrush!”

Marijuana Inc: Inside America’s Pot Industry (CNBC) — Duuuuuude, did you know  Thomas Jefferson was a total pothead?  He grew that stuff on Monticello.  Just got high and nailed slave chicks, man.

Meth: A County in Crisis (Bio) — An examination of crsytal meth abuse in Missouri.  I’ll keep an eye out for your mom.

Meth in the City (Bio) — Crap, I didn’t realize it was “Meth Monday” on Bio.  I’ll have to stock up and get my paring knife ready.  It’s best suited for getting the bugs out from under my skin.

Top Gear (BBC America) — It’s the premiere of the show’s seventh season.  “Top Gear” is the rarest of TV series about cars in that it can actually be entertaining for people with frontal lobes.

Make it or Break It (ABC Family) — I’m sorry, but I’m not tuning in unless somebody promises me some tumble-fighting.

Dating in the Dark (ABC) — The contestants try to learn about their potential mates by going through their cars.  You didn’t look in the trunk, did you?  Oh.  I’ll have you know those chains and tie-downs came standard with that model.

Woodstock: Now and Then (History) — Then: a defining moment in the counter-culture movement expressed through rock and roll music.  Now: shut up, hippie.