“America’s Got Talent” has been the ratings king of its time slot, and it’s no wonder when you watch David Hasselhoff perform “Feeling Good.” Because most Americans love stuff that sucks.

Listen, Hoff’s not a bad singer. He’s what I would expect from something that Germany thinks is good. He’s the Scorpions of pop singers. But no one — and I mean absolutely NO ONE — can sing “Feeling Good” besides Nina Simone.  Not even Muse, and I friggin’ love Muse. So take a seat, Hoff. I appreciate the dancers in lingerie, now go back to your hamburger.

(Video via Best Week Ever, the requisite all-time classic Hoff music video after the jump)