09.28.09 AND THE SEASON’S FIRST CANCELLATION IS…

I’m pleased to report that “The Beautiful Life,” the stillborn turd created by Ashton Kutcher and starring suicidal uninsurable mess Mischa Barton, has been canceled by the CW after just two episodes. The second episode garnered less than 1 million viewers, meaning that most of Kutcher’s 3.7 million followers on Twitter either don’t own TVs, follow him ironically, or are porn spambots.

“Production has ceased on ‘The Beautiful Life’ in New York. The show will be pulled from The CW’s schedule immediately,” CW said late Friday in an e-mail, surprising no one since it was a Take Out the Trash Day — the Friday before a holiday weekend…

“TBL” had looked DOA since since its unveiling one week earlier, attracting an anorexic audience of 1.4 million viewers. In its second broadcast, it fell to 1 million, and by the second half hour was down to under 1 mil. This despite the show’s rampant Ashton Kutcher-ness – he was an executive producer on the show and the drama series is semi-autobiographical, what with Kutcher being hot and from Iowa and having moved to New York City to become a male model as a way to get into acting, and the show being about a hot farm boy from Iowa who goes to New York City to become a male model to save the family farm. [WaPo]

Oh, that is delicious. I love it when horrible work is rewarded with spectacular failure. For some reason when I think about “The Beautiful Life,” I picture homeless guy who crapped himself sleeping in a crowded subway car. And the CW and everyone else is trying like hell to get as far away as possible.