BREAKING: HASSELHOFF DRUNK AGAIN
09.21.09
The preeminent judge on “America’s Got a Nasty Hangover”
According to a report by TMZ, inexplicable TV star David Hasselhoff was so drunk that he was hospitalized last night. Again.
We’ve learned 17-year-old Hayley Hasselhoff — who was at home with David — called her mother Pamela, claiming David was extremely drunk. One of Pamela’s friends called 911, paramedics arrived at the family’s home in Encino and took him to the hospital. We’re told the hospital was supposed to release David Sunday night.
That’s the problem with having kids. They’re always getting in the way of a hard-earned bender. I went and visited my niece this weekend, and I guess she’s pretty cute, but she can’t even make a decent Manhattan. I sometimes wonder what the hell my sister is teaching her. Kid’s gonna be four next year and she’s still adding way too much vermouth.

Also — photoshopped?
Respect Der Hoffenhammer
Why not take the extra time to work Toonces into the photoshop?
The real story here is that his daughter is a real cunt.
If I had to sit through America’s Got Talent I’d be drunk all the time too
I wonder how many times Hasselhoff has drunkenly crawled into the driver’s seat of his car and tried to convince it to drive him home.
“Quit stonewalling me, Kit…I’m in a real jam here!”
Looks like he’s Hoff the wagon.