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Warming Glow
Warming Glow is a blog dedicated to the best and worst of television programming. Mostly the worst.


09.14.09 CSI MIAMI: BEFORE CARUSO HAD SUNGLASSES!

caruso-squinting

Get a look at this. That image is David Caruso as Horatio Caine before the central character in “CSI: Miami” had his trademark sunglasses (requisite: YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!). As Caruso tells us in the video below, the season premiere will be a flashback to 1997, before the CSI Miami team had assembled, and poor Horatio is just “standing out there in the Everglades, kind of shading my eyes because I don’t wear sunglasses.” Oh my God, a world in which Horatio Caine DOESN’T WEAR SUNGLASSES??!? That’s no way to live!

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that 95% of the “CSI: Miami’s” appeal is the first two minutes of the show, where the sunglasses are a key component of Caruso’s overacting and the show’s terrible writing. Those sunglasses are where Caruso gets his powers, like Superman with the sun or Patrick Swayze and his mullet. Without Horatio’s sunglasses, you couldn’t use The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again” for the opening credits. It would have to be something extra crappy like “Happy Jack.” Oh man, that song sucks on fire.

9 Comments » TAGS: CSI: MIAMI, DAVID CARUSO
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There are 9 comments about:
CSI MIAMI: BEFORE CARUSO HAD SUNGLASSES!

September 14th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Danger Guerrero says:

Horatio w/out sunglasses:

Cop: They call it speed dating.

Horatio: Well, you know what they say (squints and holds up hand to block sun)…hold on….ahhh ahhhhhhh

/sneezes from sun in the eyes

YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!

September 14th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Enrico Pallazzo says:

Peter King disapproves of 1997 Caine’s disrespect of the sun.

September 14th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Vodka says:

+1 Danger

If someone could mash that up in a video, I would be a happy camper.

September 14th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Lenny says:

That Horatio is ever changing. A man of many different…..shades.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

September 14th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
FistfulOAwesome says:

Me: Horatio Cane is like a weaponized version of Lenny Briscoe.

David Caruso: “Then I guess you can call him Law… and Mortar”

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

September 14th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
jackin'4beats says:

I choose to remember David Caruso as that shit for brains deputy in First Blood that Rambo damn near kills for being an asshole.

If we could mash up Horatio putting on his sunglasses then getting stabbed in the chest by that massive Rambo hunting knife, the world would be a better place.

September 14th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Lenny says:

“If we could mash up Horatio putting on his sunglasses then getting stabbed in the chest by that massive Rambo hunting knife, the world would be a better place.”

That was part of the original movie, but I’m afraid that scene got…….cut.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

September 15th, 2009 at 3:18 am
TheDailyJokelahoman says:

Me: Horatio, Patrick Swayze died today. Initial cause of death is pancreatic cancer.

Horatio: Well now he can play Ghost….for real.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

And now I’m going to hell.

September 15th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
JD says:

Don’t dis Happy Jack (and next time link to a better quality recording… anything will sound like crap in a low quality live recording!)

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