There is a show on VH1 called “Real Chance at Love 2,” and I don’t pretend to know what it’s about, but judging by the name and the network it’s about disgusting attention whores pretending to be in a dating competition in order to be on TV. But this is not the point of the story.

The point is that the women on the show were challenged to write lyrics for a song called “Animals are Awesome” and then perform it for their would-be paramours. And the result is beyond anything that you can dream. I was going to transcribe the lyrics for you here, then I stopped myself halfway through because I was like, “No, the world needs to experience this with their eyes and ears.” People, prepare to fall in love with pandas and tigers and elephants and, like, other animals.

Just to put this in perspective: if Ryan Jenkins stuffing the corpse of his wife into a suitcase and throwing it into a Dumpster after cutting off the fingers and removing the teeth after getting the marriage annulled because he originally met her in a Vegas strip club and married her two days later is VH1′s #1 reality TV story ever… this is #2. I’m not kidding. (extended, even more hilarious video below)