09.09.09 NO F-CKING THANK YOU

In what is widely being denounced as the “least sexy day in Warming Glow history,” reality TV harpy Kate Gosselin has reportedly been offered $400,000 to pose nude in Playboy. In a related story, my gag reflex can be triggered by my imagination.

The octomom is said to have received a $400,000 offer from Hef to take it all off for Playboy, but she doesn’t plan to reveal her lady bits in the nudie mag. [Ed. note: PHEW!]

“Hugh sent her a letter, but Kate was totally mortified and threw it away!” a source told Star Magazine. “She didn’t think it was appropriate because of the children.”

I’d like to think that this is the sort thing that’s patently false and just generated by Kate’s PR team to get her in the news cycle and bump Jon out of it, but who knows with Playboy any more.  If some dumb broad from a reality show moves copies of Us Magazine, Playboy will be there with six figures. Case in point. Playboy’s lost touch with everything that made it great so many years ago. That’s why I stick to snuff films now. It’s about the art.

(If you’re really upset about the photo cropping, get more Kate in a bikini here. Don’t worry, it comes with a side of Denise Milani.)