whale-war-reenactmentYour dad always rides whales bareback

Three-day weekend, y’all. I’ll leave the porch light on here at Warming Glow, but the doors’ll be locked and I won’t be back until Tuesday morning. Unless something really important happens, like the CBS headquarters gets blown up or I find a picture of a Hitler cat in an SS uniform overseeing Jew cats getting on a train.

And you and I aren’t the only ones chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool this weekend: most TV stations are mailing it in with various marathons of whatever they have the rights to. After the jump, a full list of said marathons, reblogged from Interesting Pile. My pick of the weekend: Monday’s “Whale Wars” marathon on Animal Planet. I’d stay in to watch it, but I’m actually going to be at a Whale War reenactment. Abe Lincoln rarely gets credit for it, but he also freed Willy.

Saturday

ActionMax: Jaws films

BET: The Game

Cartoon Network: Total Drama Island / Total Drama Action

Discovery Channel: American Loggers / Mythbusters

Fox Reality: Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

G4: Ninja Warrior

MSNBC: Lockup

TV Land: Married With Children

USA: House

VH1: I Love The New Millenium

We: Golden Girls


Sunday

Animal Planet: River Monsters

BET: Tina And Toya

Discovery Channel: Planet Earth

Discovery Health: Trauma: Life In The ER

Fox Reality: Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? / Househusbands Of Hollywood

Hallmark: Little House On The Prairie

MTV: MADE

Science: How It’s Made

Spike TV: Band Of Brothers

SyFy: Destination Truth

TLC: Police Women Of Broward County

TV Land: Beverly Hillbillies / Andy Griffith Show

TV One: Family Reunion

USA: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

WE: Bridezillas

WGN: Coach

Monday

A&E: Criminal Minds

Animal Planet: Whale Wars

BET: The Game

Discovery Channel: Dirty Jobs

Family Channel: Secret Life Of The American Teenager

Food Network: Chopped

Fox Reality: Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? / Househusbands Of Hollywood

G4: Cops

GSN: Catch 21

Hallmark: Golden Girls

History Channel: Gangland

Military Channel: Great Planes / Ultimate Weapons

MSNBC: Caught On Camera

MTV: 16 And Pregnant

National Geographic: Dog Whisperer

Oxygen: Dance Your Ass Off

SoapNet: One Tree Hill

Spike TV: Band Of Brothers

Style: Supernanny

SyFy: Ghost Hunters

TBS: The Office

TLC: The Cake Boss

Travel Channel: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

TruTV: Most Daring

TV One: Lincoln Heights

 USA: NCIS

WE: Golden Girls

WGN: Jerry Lewis Telethon