Bear Grylls, you stole my heart.
Man vs. Wild (Discovery) — Dangerous snakes, porcupine hunting, and a visit to tribes that live in hostile environments. That reminds me: did I ever post the clip of Bear Grylls stabbing a reindeer in the head, then slitting its throat AND DRINKING ITS BLOOD before removing its heart and TAKING A BITE OUT OF IT? No? Then check out the video below.
The Beautiful Life (CW) — Series premiere. Remember “Models, Inc.”? This show should do just about as well.
The Ultimate Fighter (Spike) — Season Premiere. Kimbo Slice’s once-promising MMA career went down the crapper when he got knocked out by noted gaywad and “TUF” failure Seth Petruzelli, a loss that essentially sank Elite XC. And now that turd has been retrieved, with Kimbo getting a chance at making the UFC in this heavyweights-only season. Rashad Evans and Rampage Jackson will coach the fighters, so expect to see a young woman groped.
Glee (Fox) — A nice, gay counterweight to all that testosterone I’ll be getting from “The Ultimate Fighter.”
America’s Got Talent (NBC) — Two-hour season finale. Whoa, already? Man, I’ve gotten really GOOD at ignoring this show’s existence.
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i dont care about the lizards and shit but this was unneccessary. dick.
“That’s the warmest my hands have been all day”
Funny, I said the exact same thing to your mom last night.
p.s. Your motherfucking move, PETA!
I loved Survivorman and I watched most of the episodes, but Bear Grylls got something right by going for more entertainment value than just “really real” survival situations: his show can go on and on and on and he can keep milking it for cash.
Les Stroud basically had to give up because there’s only so many times a person should have to deal with giardia.
FistfulOAwesome: “Listen, I understand why people like the more entertaining show, but hear me out…”
Hey! I am not made up!
Listen, in terms of entertainment, I can understand people enjoying Bear Grylls. I’m not even going to say he doesn’t put himself in some danger with what he does or alternatively that he doesn’t have badass skills (He was in the British Army or something, right?). I just don’t like him because he passes himself off as some kinda expert when he clearly isn’t. Not to forget to mention all the times he’s faked some of his bits.
Also, Les Stroud is totally more awesome. Remember, he’s Canadian. It’s hard to be a awesome when you’re Canadian so he gets extra credit (aside from the for-serious putting his life on the line (no crew once he’s out)).
What about Top Chef. It is actually a quality reality show plus Padma is smoking.
“Oh, Bear Grylls is fake. Survivorman is way better because it’s real.”
Shut the fuck up, guy I just made up. Bear Grylls hit a rabbit in the head from 60 feet out with a stick, then pulled its head out of the body like fucking Sub Zero and roasted it on a spit. That’s more real than Mountain Dew Code Red.
Okay kids, that’s Rudolph taken care of. Let’s go find that cocksucker Santa Claus.
I just hope that after drinking the deer’s blood Bear doesn’t go down the same path as C. Thomas Howell, because without commies to target, he’ll probably end up directing his rage at liberals like me.
Gay counterweight? I dunno man, there’s sure a lot of hot cheerleaders on that show.
Good lord, Bear is a badass. I don’t care that he doesn’t necessarily do the smart thing all the time. It’s just good TV.