crashButter-side down … Why does it always land butter-side down?

Crash (Starz) — Season premiere. None of the cast is the same as the movie of the same name, but the fact that this is based off the atrocious Best Picture Oscar-winner guarantees that I’ll never ever watch this.

Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? (Fox) — Season finale, thank God. An astrophysicist who’s won a Nobel Prize competes for the top $1 million prize.

Eureka (Syfy) — Season finale. I remember writing a description about this show once. I no longer remember the content of that, though. Eureka’s a town where… people are special? Some kind of government-run town? I honestly don’t remember, and now I have to look it up. Ah, there we go.

2009 Alma Awards (ABC) — That’s American Latino Media Awards to you. George Lopez and Eva Longoria Parker host. I’d rather rub sand in my eyes. Of course, I’m gonna have to go buy some sand. And I don’t know if sand is graded, but…. coarse. (That’s for the enlightened who saw “Archer.”)

Untamed & Uncut (Animal) — Also the name of a gay porn.

College Football: Boise State at Fresno State (ESPN) — Vince from FilmDrunk is gonna be going crazy for Fresno State. He’s actually from that dirthole. It’s why he connects with meth heads so well.

The Tonight Show (NBC) — I’m going to tune in just to see if how Conan addresses Andy whaling on Wolf Blitzer.