bangladesh-rats

It’s easy to forget that, despite the crappy economy, our lives are ridiculously shallow and frivolous and rife with ease. We’ve got the disposable time and income to watch HBO on flatscreen TVs and spend our days laughing at cats in wigs.

Bangladesh is somewhat different. In Bangladesh, a 14-inch color TV is the prize you win for killing 83,000 rats over a nine-month period as the impoverished nation tries to cut down its need to import food into the country.

Mokhairul Islam, 40, won a first prize of a color television for killing some 83,450 rats in the past nine months in Gazipur district near the South Asian country’s capital, Dhaka. He collected their tails for proof.

“I am so happy to get this honor,” Islam said after receiving a 14-inch television and a certificate amid cheers at an official ceremony packed with 500 farmers and officials. “I had no idea that the government gives prizes for this… This is an exciting moment. I will continue to kill them,” he vowed.

A color 14-inch TV. For killing 83 thousand rats. Meanwhile, in America, CBS awarded the winner of “Big Brother” $500,000 for successfully living in a house for three months.

“We can cut the import of food by at least half if we can succeed in this year’s campaign,” said Wais Kabir, executive chairman of the Bangladesh Agriculture Research Council.

He asked everyone, especially farmers, to take on the killing mission as a sport. The government has said it will train mainly farmers and students for this year’s campaign.

“Killing rats is not that easy; it needs training,” Kabir said…

Fakhrul Haque Akanda, a farmer from northern Bangladesh and the second-prize winner, killed around 37,450 rats mostly with traps, some he invented…

“Please pray for me so that I can continue my mission, and teach and motivate others to join me,” he told the audience before taking his prize, also a television.

So, to recap… Bangladesh: conducting a rat jihad in order to fight starvation. America: ugh, why is the iPhone only available on AT&T’s lousy network!?!?!  What did I do to make God hate me?!?!