10.20.09 OY, SOMEONE GAVE WILMER VALDERRAMA WORK

Wilmer Valderrama gets work in Hollywood and fucks celebrities.

Proof that sorcery and black magic exist? Yup.

Don’t over look the annoyance of Topher Grace. Nice first name, asshole.

My old roommate’s dog was so badass that it got kicked out of Cesar Millan’s dog camp. True story.

ABC has already asked if they can preempt the next episode of ‘Hank’ for this.

It’s pretty impressive when a guy can be named “Wilmer” and still have only the third stupidest name of his coworkers.

Turns out this will be paired with Brothers as part of Fox’s Go Fuck Yourself Fridays.

Wanna hate him a little more? Check out Handy Manny. I didn’t think you could negatively impact the stereotypes of Mexicans. I was wrong.

How is the show going to work?

Will it be like House where a grumpy Wilmer ponders how to help a troublesome poodle, writes on a white board, has an addiction to doggy treats, and only solves the problem in the last two minutes after having a conversation with his best friend?

On a more positive note, he did bang an underage Lindsay Lohan. Wait, so did half of Hollywood. Nevermind.

Dammit, Kapnek! You had the chance to make Fez play the role of “Grizzly Man”, and you chose “Dog Whisperer” instead? Thanks for nothing.

I remember he was on Stern and he said that he has a 10 inch penis.

Makes money by being bad at things and has a huge wang.

I wish my life could be summed up like that.