10.09.09 HASSELHOFF WET THE BED, PUNCHED A DOCTOR

David Hasselhoff has once again gotten so drunk that he needed hospitalization, and the details of his London bender are too spectacular and numerous for me to succinctly recount, so please do yourself the favor of reading The Sun’s account (emphasis added):

A source close to the star said: “David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he became so drunk he wet his hotel bed – ruining two mattresses – and was becoming a real pain for staff.

“His assistant Joe Townley was so concerned he called out a doctor. David was furious and lashed out at him – but mistakenly hit the doctor. They decided they had no option but to lock him in the basement until an ambulance arrived.”

Hotel guest Maria Weston, 44, told how she saw Hasselhoff swearing in the bar. She said: “He was abusing all the staff, shouting at everyone. We were shocked – you’d think he was just some drunk, not a big star.”

Hasselhoff has been admitted to hospital at least FIVE times for alcohol poisoning.

Dude, five times. Freshmen girls who never drank in high school don’t go to the ER for alcohol poisoning five times. Although it’s nice to see I’m not the only one locking people in the basement when they drink too much. I’m telling you, those freshmen girls were a menace! Someone had to stop them, and I’ll let them out as soon as they sober up. Say, in a month or two.