10.20.09 UNAUTHORIZED ‘SIMPSONS’ BOOK = AWESOME

Sorry Bible, looks like I’m putting off reading you for another month.

Fox has completely denied Ortved’s claims, citing that he never even had a goldfish. Then why did he have the bowl, Fox?

That’s show business for you: one day you’re the most important guy that ever lived, the next day you’re some shmoe working in a box factory.

Woozle Wuzzle.

Every page of this book could be liberally dusted with anthrax and I would still read it.

He might offend a few of the bluenoses with his cocky stride and musky odors.

The last comment was, without a doubt, the worst comment *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

A last name of Ortved would be so much better served with a first name of Bort.

Psh. Everything is is bad if you remember it.

They call the biggest lawyer, bitey.

So it seems the cat has been caught. By the very person who was trying to catch him.

How ironic.

This book is half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli.

/Rabbit ears? Really?

The rabbit ears were no doubt because the Simpsons bear more than a passing resemblance to the characters in Groening’s Life in Hell comics, and Groening was looking to somehow link the two.

I get the sense that Groening and George Lucas are a lot alike, in more ways than their neck beards.

I got a copy of the book and it seems awfully rushed and not even really about the Simpsons. Most of the book is about Ross Perot and the last two chapters are excerpts from the Oliver North trial.

Most unauthorized books are 120 pages. This one is only 17 pages. And several pages just have drawings of the time machine.

You know what else is a circle jerk… Blogs wilth Balls

@GFunk: I noticed that, and also of concern was the fact that the last five pages just had “Screw Flanders” written over and over again.

I think this book might be the cause of, and solution to all of life’s problems.

More testimonies mean more iron.

If you’ve ever listened to the episode commentaries (and I have, every episode, 12 seasons) you quickly realize that Matt Groening, while jovial and knowledgeable is not the writers/show-runners favorite dude. They simply tolerate him while he cracks-wise and talks about the bits that he vetoed or wanted to do, and how what the writers ended up doing was more successful. So I hand it to him for a bit of humility as he seems to know his place more than the blurb above would have you believe, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a bit of a tool.

I saw this in the NY Times today and I just brought this from Amazon, like, an hour ago.

Damn, I got every single Simpsons reference in the comment section. I’m not sure whether I’m proud of that or not.

“More testimonies means more iron” – ha!

I told my friend to read this book. He tried once, but he got confused and thought the book was real. He’s still looking for that chocolate factory… It consumes him.

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does that do me?

If this book teaches anything it’s that a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

You wrote this book after they said no? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.