Here, via the Live Feed, are the first eight and a half minutes of ABC’s remake of the ’80s classic sci-fi thriller “V.” The best part happens at around the 3:55 mark, when Jesus tries to kill a homeless guy in a wheelchair. (I feel ya, Jesus. I feel ya.) The rest of the video’s not gonna make you crap your pants or anything, but I imagine the “spaceship looming over Manhattan” scene will look pretty cool on a giant flatscreen with HD. Hey, does anyone have a giant flatscreen with HD? Well la dee dah, your highness.

Anyway, “V” will air for four weeks during sweeps starting November 3rd, then ABC will shelve it until early next year, a marketing method commonly known as “blue balls.”  I guess we have to wait to get our “V” card! Wokka wokka wokka! *falls through trap door*